SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dorothy123,

Saw the touring show of "Water For Elephants" recently.

If you haven’t seen it, don’t; it’s a celebration of infidelity.

But, in the southern US city in which I saw it, when the male lead first kissed the female lead (she is married in the story), there was a collective groan from the audience.

And in this city, every show performance gets a standing ovation.

Not this one. And everything about it, the singing and dancing, the costumes, the sets, etc., were very good.

They didn’t like the story.

All I can say is.....look at the Epstein situation.....look at all the rich and powerful men who were involved with that - either having sex with minors, or non-consensual sex, or supporting and ignoring this. And that goes for women too. There were a lot of women working with Epstein and these other losers. What kind of woman, KNOWING what it's like, can conspire against teenagers or younger? I don't know. But this is almost the ENTIRE UPPER CLASS of several countries that either were involved in this, or did business with this POS, or overlooked his pedo conviction, and what does that say? A lot of people got caught up in the idea of a book that was popular in the '70s called Looking out for Number One. And that was the concept behind it...looking out for number one. The hell with the rest of you!!! So I think there was a whole generational thing of just being selfish and narcissistic and not putting the effort into raising kids properly but they modeled what their parents did, and worse. We don't have a society that models or appreciates morality. The people with money, power, recognition - they all want to get something over on someone else, or be more important, or have more money. Hyper competition combined with a lack of morals - this is what it produces - a Tech Age Sodom and Gomorrah! Thank God, I'm a Puritan!!!

I started exploring therapy channels in the free time.

It is surprising how much betrayal gets normalized, the vibe I get is "Sure is not ideal, but is a normal human behavior, often healthier than monogamy, makes relationships stronger"

Feels like the BS is framed as the party in the wrong. You should give second chances. You must accept it happens and is normal.

You must forgive. You should not hurt, it selfish, you should use the pain as a tool to better connect with, better understand your betraying partner needs and fulfill those. In exchange they might fulfill yours. Rethinking infidelity as unreasonable expectation that forces someone to fulfill what they miss from you with someone else, to be better in demanding from you when they are done with him/her. Infidelity = positive growth.

While I do believe the BS often carries the responsibility of weak boundaries, this attitude kind of sucks. Apparently some of these are big names in this field.

Even found a therapy channel encouraging affairs and advising how to keep parallel lives without being caught or disturbed by the BS while building with the Affair Partner.

I can't understand why deception is seen so normalized.

[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 9:28 AM, Wednesday, February 11th]

When sex is used as a tool for power and control, we all fail.

Think Harvey Weinstein and his control over Hollywood (and he’s not the only one).

Cult leaders and religious leaders who used sex to control people, even minors.

It’s all so disgusting how people will prey on innocent people, including children.