Me: BW 35 now 41Him: WH 37 now 43

Lots of little DDays and TTbiggest DDay 4/24/15New DDay 6/23/2021

Years Later: Seeking Support an Validation

Really, there was never a point when he wasn’t cheating in one way or another. Fresh out of a terrible divorce, I plowed through the red flags because I felt so loved and cared for. I had never been alone, he was my escape. But, messaging other women, still on dating apps, far too close with his ex (at times completely ignoring me for her), and I just plowed forward. Inappropriate texts with his ex, I was hurt but forgave him. Repeatedly looking up exes on porn sites because he had posted her. Excuses, apologies, sex addiction therapy.

Travel for work. I’m alone with the kids, behavior challenges mixed with loneliness. I said at the time that I feared his traveling would be the end of us. Attempts to cheat, interaction with other women, actively trying to cheat. One finally sticks. Physical affair for several months and emotional affair for over a year. So much work for n his trauma. My husband, who I am in love with says "what if I can’t get over her?" I stand by supporting and loving. why?

Lots of stuff, then I find an affair again in n 2021. Not physical, but likely about to be. Why, what is happening.

We work so hard over the coming years, basically, now, he is the husband Who asked for all along, the husband he said he would be, BUT. I don’t trust him with important feelings, I just don’t trust him.

I wish I had never stayed, I regret staying. I regret not leaving in the immediate aftermath. He never asked me to stay, he said he would like it is I did, but never said how much he wanted it.

I have this feeling that I have to be without flaws to now judge him and potentially leave him for his.

1 comment posted: Monday, August 17th, 2026

So Many Years Later

I haven’t been on here for a long time, but I have this new numbness and doneness that’s come over me years later.

tbh with myself the betrayal was always an underlying current, a red flag I ignored in favor of the feelings that came from the love bombing because, dang that feels so good.

We are a decade post most major affair and 5 years post the 2nd major affair and while I do believe the infidelity had stopped, now I’m in a state of "I went through all of that trauma for this?"

Sex has dwindled to a quarterly event. Kisses and deep hugs are rare, I’ve stopped asking for my needs in these regards to be met over and over, so it just all stopped.

I had a breakdown, clinical burnout, that had me unemployed by choice for 6 months. I returned to work one year ago, to a supportive job. The whole time I was careening toward burnout, I couldn’t help but realize, I was susceptible to the toxic work environment because my self esteem is absolutely trashed.

I ran myself ragged making sure his environment was as good as it could be, became severely codependent, and in reality, he barely asked me to stay.

I asked for what I needed, I was clear. I wanted a new proposal, I wanted a recommitment with new vows. I asked for less mental load (with specific examples), and I absolutely begged to feel wanted.

I hit perimenopause, I was diagnosed with ADHD, I’m just so tired and for what? This? I don’t like this, this isn’t the life I want and I’ll be damned if this bare minimum relationship was worth the trauma.

I’m just frozen, I almost want him to cheat now to make the decision easy.

32 comments posted: Saturday, April 18th, 2026

Ubunto/linux keylogger

Does anyone know of a discreat keylogger that can be installed on a machine that runs ubunto? It would need to leave very little trace. As anyone familiar with this can assume he knows his computers pretty well.

0 comment posted: Monday, August 31st, 2015

Facebook search

I saw somewhere else that there was a way to see everyone that someone has searched for on Facebook. Does anyone know about how to do this?

3 comments posted: Tuesday, August 25th, 2015